Moved to Wordpress

Thank you for coming to my blog. I have moved to a new site on Wordpress to host my blog.  So, any new posts can be found at purplebuoy.wordpress.com.  Be blessed:)

Preemie momma

Our NICU Miracle

November 17 is World Prematurity Awareness Day. In honor of that, I will be wearing purple and would like to tell a little bit about my preemie coming into the world

I had heard of the March of Dimes, but never paid attention. Honestly, I didn't pay attention, wasn't affected, and didn't know anyone affected by premature birth. That changed in July of 2010. 

My pregnancy was a surprise and we were thrilled to find out we were having a boy. Our due date was early September. I was going to be pregnant all summer, but knew he was worth it. 

In early July, I was experiencing pain, and was told that baby was moving and I was growing and as long as I didn't have more than 6 contractions an hour, I didn't need to do anything different. I was frustrated. I felt like nobody believed me. Yes, I was getting bigger and yes, I would be uncomfortable, but this didn't feel right. 

On a Monday, I went shopping for a friend who was having a baby and due around the same time as me. Again, I was experiencing discomfort, but I was hoping to make it to my doctor appointment later in the week and talk to him about it. I didn't want to gain a lot of weight, so I forced myself to take the stairs and do what I could to get a little exercise in. Pregnant women do it all of the time, and I thought that I could to. I was being a wimp.  That Monday, everything changed. I felt my world had stopped and have never felt more afraid at anytime in my life as I did that day. I noticed some bleeding.

I was told to go to the hospital. After awhile, I was admitted. I had pre-term labor. They stopped it for a couple of days, but after my water broke, there was no stopping my son anymore.

My son was born 8 weeks early and stayed in the NICU 26 days. He is a miracle. I was able to get steroid shots that strengthened his lungs and he never had to see a Respiratory Therapist. Yes, those shots HURT, but worth it. Heparin shots are also not fun, but I didn't have blood clots.

I don't think that we will ever know why I had pre-term labor, but I am so glad for The March of Dimes and their tireless efforts to raise awareness and save babies.


Thank you to The March of Dimes, NICU staff, and God,  my son is now 2 years old and so much fun. He is healthy and thriving. Yes, we do have speech therapy, but I don't think it is due to prematurity.

I also want to say to those whose babies did not come home with them, my heart hurts for you and I am sorry. Please believe your angel is in Good hands~~His hands.

Be blessed:)

Stay~~My FMF post

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker at tales from a Gypsy Mama does what is called a Five Minute Friday. 5 minutes to write without abandon about one word that she gives us.It is fun! I encourage you to try it out.

Stay

I hear myself say this word a lot, or something like it, to my son. Being 2 is not easy and sitting still is even harder. Sometimes, you have to move. 
Staying in one place can be bad. 
Do I want to stay in this season of my marriage or do I want to be a better wife?
Do I want to be a better mom, or stay in the same place of frustration?
Do I want to stay bitter or get better? 
Do I want to stay here--stagnant--in my walk with God or move forward? Stepping out in faith, even when it gets hard and I have NO IDEA where He is taking me. 
Staying can be good or it can be bad. Holding a grudge and staying mad is not a good way to stay. 
Staying in God's good graces by accepting His grace, is a good way to stay.

Be blessed:) 

To our military~~thank you

Today, we celebrate Veteran's Day. On this day, we express our appreciation to those who serve. I will be the first to admit that I really can't express enough gratitude to those who serve our country. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

I do also want to take a moment and speak to military wives.  My heart goes out to you. To those women who never know if their husbands are coming home, please know that I appreciate your sacrifice. I am no way going to say that I understand what you are going through. For the work you put into your home, trying to be "normal" is something I can't comprehend. For trying to keep the spirits up of your kids and those around you while praying your husband comes home. Military wives, I admire you. You are heroic. So I wanted to say thank you. Thank you to your husbands for serving abroad to keep our country safe and fight for freedom. Thank you wives, for how you are serving, here at home. Please know that your service here at home is not in vain. YOU are loved and I wanted you to know that you are not overlooked or forgotten. You sacrifice normalcy so we can have freedom. For that, I am grateful to you.

For the wives who are now caring for their husbands wounded during combat~~I also admire you. For your love and dedication to your husband, I pray that you have strength to face the day together.

For the wives who lost their husbands serving our country~~I pray that you find strength to face the day. You and your family paid the ultimate sacrifice and my heart aches for you.

I know that there are husbands whose wives serve. I say the same. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I know you are trying to provide normalcy that I am unable to comprehend. Please know that you are appreciated, loved, and I am grateful to you also.

For the military women who are serving our country abroad~~I want you to know that I admire your bravery and sacrifice for your country. You are women that young girls can look up to. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Finally, for the moms whose children are serving our country. You truly know that it means to let your babies go and I pray comfort for you, especially to you moms who have had to say good-bye forever. I know it isn't suppose to be that way. I am not going to say I understand. All I can say is I am so sorry and I mourn with you.

To all our military personnel~~THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU and Happy Veteran's Day.

God,
   Thank you for those who serve our country. Thank you for their sacrifices and for the sacrifices of their family and friends. Father, You know their needs and I ask that you meet them according to Your will. I pray for strength, comfort, healing, and peace that only You can give. Please bless them. Please help them know they are loved and appreciated. In Jesus' name, Amen

Be blessed:)

The problem with quiet~~FMF Post

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker at tales from a Gypsy Mama does what is called a Five Minute Friday. 5 minutes to write without abandon about one word that she gives us.It is fun! I encourage you to try it out.



There is a lot of info about how quiet time is needed and important. I am not opposed to quiet time. I know I need it when searching scripture or praying.
However, quiet time, for me can be bad. If I am not busy, I focus on what I don't have instead of being grateful for what I do. I am trying to break out of this horrible habit (and self-pity is so ugly).

Boredom is dangerous for me. It leads to loneliness which causes my emotions to spiral downward. I am a social person. I love to converse with others (which is why it is so hard for me with my son who is severely speech delayed).

So, I got very excited when I was putting things in my calendar. Not only will I have things to do, but I am hoping it leads to some new friendships for me, my son, and my husband.

Maybe God has had me go through this season of quietness/boredom for a reason. Maybe it is my own fault. I don't know.
If you can, please pray that we do make connections with people. I would love play dates for my son so  he can make friends.

Be blessed:)

Grace of a Child

Everything about motherhood has been a surprise starting with becoming a mom. I didn’t think I could get pregnant again after my miscarriage without some outside help. 

Then suddenly, surprise, I was pregnant!  So pregnancy was my first surprise (and a welcome one at that). 

Besides being sick for the first 4-5 months, pregnancy was going well. My husband and I were so happy to discover we were having a boy. I was excited for three reasons. First, I was going to be the only girl which meant I was going to be the princess. Second, we had a boy named picked out. I saw the name Declan in a book I had read many years before and my husband Matt and I both fell in love with it. Lastly, we were told that boys are so much fun! 

It was during my 31st week of pregnancy that Declan gave us another surprise. He wanted out! I went into the hospital where they were able to stop my labor for three days, but that was all. I delivered our son at 32 weeks gestation. I was NOT ready to be a mom because he was not supposed to be here yet. So began our short journey (26 days) in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit).

I was not surprised once we got home at lack of sleep and increase in fear and questions. Am I doing this right, am I ready to be a mom? (Too late, I know, but the question remained).  What did surprise me are my son’s delays in development. EVERYONE has said that he will catch up and don’t worry.  Now at the age of 2 and still delayed in some areas, thankfully people have stopped assuming. Yes, he is in speech therapy and we do what we can, but the reality is, we don’t know what the future holds for our sweet, lovable boy. On the other hand there are many ways that he is like other boys -- he likes to climb, get dirty, pick up rocks, roughhouse, and push his limits. 

This leads to my biggest surprise -- I need GRACE EVERYDAY, sometimes multiple times a day, from my son. I don’t know how many times I have had to apologize to him (and he is only 2). It isn’t just the fact that I am a rookie mom. Declan is a strong-willed, energy-filled boy, but with delays. I get frustrated because we can’t communicate well. I get frustrated because he isn’t learning or understanding and the fear that comes with it makes me push him when he isn’t ready or doesn’t understand. I need to love him and give it all I have, and then some. I firmly believe God does give me the ability, but I do not cling to Him for help as often as I should. I also need to apologize to Declan when I do not give him time and attention when I could have. Instead of playing with him or sitting at the table while he eats (even if I am not), I am on the computer. I need his grace for the times I am selfish, fearful, frustrated, and plain old honest mistakes -- such as no milk with meal or forgetting a bib at meal times. FYI -- he is in bed for the night while I type this :)

Since Declan has come into our lives just two short years ago, I never knew the amount of grace I would need from him already. I knew I was not going to be perfect, but I had no idea how many ways I would fail him. It makes me appreciate my Heavenly Father so much more, not just His grace but how often He lavishes it on me. 

I am so humbled, honored, and amazed at the privilege that God has given me to be Declan’s mom. He chose me! What a gift! What a blessing! 

Thank you Declan for giving me, this rookie mom, a lesson in grace on a daily basis.   You teach me to lean on The Father’s love and appreciate His grace more and more.

Be blessed:) 

Are my roots strong?

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker at tales from a Gypsy Mama does what is called a Five Minute Friday. 5 minutes to write without abandon about one word that she gives us.It is fun! I encourage you to try it out.

Roots

All of us have roots--starting points if you will. Some of us want to hide ours or wish we had different ones.
Roots, in nature, are used to nourish. To help grow. Give life. Make better.
Is that what I am doing as a mom? Am I helping my son grow? Is he better because of me?
He is only 2, so he doesn't see that I am trying to lead him in the right direction.
In my last post, I said that I wanted to give him roots and wings. I am trying to make a home where he feels safe, where he is growing. I hope that he is rooted in Jesus, but at the same time, I hope that I give him wings to fly, not rooted so much that he feels guilty when it is time for him to go out and plant his own roots and I hope he will be proud of me and my husband--his roots.

Be blessed:)