Lessons for Declan

As a mom, I have a big job to do. So here are a few things I hope to pass along.

Spiritually...

1. Take God with you in your heart. Let Him guide you. He already sees what is going on, so live to please Him.
2. Do not let fear guide you. Listen to The Holy Spirit.
3. Do not judge. This doesn't mean acceptance, it means love. 
4. Stand up for what is right.
5. Do not hold a grudge.
6. Love yourself enough to not pollute your mind with images that you would not want your minister, mother, or anyone else to see.

If you marry...

1. Do NOT bring home a bimbo. Women have worked too hard in past generations for us to act flighty/stupid/demeaning of ourselves. Find one who respects herself.
2. You will get your heart broken. Remember the feeling--you may be on the other side. 
3. When you find "the one", please go easy on me. I have been the primary woman in your life and now, someone else is the primary.
4. Love yourself enough to wait. Virginity is a gift that can only be given once
5. Find a wife who will love you more than she loves anyone else here on earth, including kids, if you have them. Marry a "God's Girl".
6. Chivalry is not dead. If you think it is, resurrect it.
7. When a lady walks in or approaches the table, stand up. Do not sit down until all ladies at the table have been seated. 
8. Love no matter what. No matter what it costs, bumps in the road, you may need to sacrifice. When you love, give it all you have!
9. Never stop dating your wife. Put in effort and find a sitter if you have kids.
10. Surprise those you love. Show them you are listening. 

Socially...

1. When you go somewhere, be someone you would want to meet, not someone you regret and would not want to be around. 
2. Sometimes, you will need to be the bigger person.
3. You will disagree with others---do it respectfully.
4. Apologize without excuses. Own it! 
5. WRITE and have face-to-face conversations as much as possible. 
6. Be a friend to everyone.

Additionally...

1. Please know that I have given you roots and wings. You can always come back after you have left the nest.
2. When you tell me that I don't understand what you are going through, you might be right. Give me patience, grace, and try to help me understand. I am here to help.
3. When it comes to patience, look to your dad. He is the most patient man I know.
4. Never stop learning.
5. Rules are there for a reason, but sometimes you can dare to be different.
6. Don't look back. Learn from your mistakes, learn from your past, and move on!
7. Try your best to handle your finances responsibly.
8. Laugh often.
9. You are loved and always will be.

Yes, I know there are more and I would love to hear what you would add. 

Be blessed:)

The Awkward Visitor

Have you ever been the new person? Have you ever felt like the awkward visitor? Do you know what I a talking about? When you drop off your kids in the nursery at a new church and nobody says anything outside of what is necessary. They will make necessary introductions and help you get settled in, but that is it. It feels as if they are trying to catch up with their friends because there isn't enough time to do it during the week.  There has been ONE time that someone has gone out of her way, above and beyond, to help us out at a church.

My husband and I have been back around the area where we grew up 4 years now and you know what? I am just now starting to feel less awkward. I really thought we would make connections, but honestly, I think everyone seems like they are already established with friends and there is no room to grow their "social circle".  We have been blessed with one set of friends since being here (and we are VERY grateful for them). Finally, I have happy news.

I have since found a MOPS group that is fabulous! Our fearless leader Kris Camealy and her team is amazing. I look forward to our meetings twice a month with this great group of moms. We all have different backgrounds and a few are working on speaking English, but they all bless me. I feel as if the common bond of motherhood is all we have in common, but it is enough. I am not kidding when I say this has been a breath of fresh air.

Another place I am finding community is a ladies Bible Study that Rachel Wojnarowski leads. We are finishing Unglued and will start up again in the winter. I love that we all come from various churches around the area. They have been so welcoming and open -- another breath of fresh air.

The best thing about these groups of ladies--they have made me feel so welcomed, and not like an awkward visitor. They are such a blessing to me and I hope to be a blessing to them!

This has been such a wake-up call for me! We need to be intentional with welcoming people. I can catch up with a friend by phone, social media, or even over coffee (my personal favorite). We need to go out of our way, step out of our comfort zone, to try to let visitors know they are welcomed -- especially in church. It is because of that one person that I mentioned earlier that my family has continued to come back to the church we are attending.

What else can we do? Honestly, I am not a shy person so I didn't think it would be hard to make connections. I don't know what to tell the introvert. Any advice on how to help an introvert is welcomed here. I do not find it difficult at all to go new places and meet new people. I LOVE doing it!!

As a visitor, if you feel like you found a church that you can grow, learn, and make connections, then I say try and start conversations with other Church members.  Or, find a ministry that you can get involved in. I think that most churches have pastors that would like to meet with you and help you get connected.  But, we have to do our part too. It may not be after the first visit or even a few visits, but listen to the Holy Spirit's prompting. I guarantee, He wants to help  you find a church home.


Prayer requests--to make more friends--feel like part of a community. For my husband to make more friends. For us to be a blessing to others and of course, make new people feel welcomed.

Be blessed:)

What do you see when you look at me?

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker at tales from a Gypsy Mama does what is called a Five Minute Friday. 5 minutes to write without abandon about one word that she gives us.It is fun! I encourage you to try it out.

This week, the word is LOOK. So here we go

What do you see when you look at me?

That is a question that I need to ask more often, no matter how painful the answer.
I wonder how my 2 year old would answer? Would he say he has a mommy that loves him or one that is too impatient?

What would my husband say if I asked him? I am striving to look more like a Proverbs 31 wife.
I also need to be loving and offer grace.

If people visit my blog--what do they see? Do you see a women who is trying to be better? To be a better servant to her Master or do you see selfishness?

I hope when you look at me, you see a wife, mother, and an encourager.
What am I striving to be when you look at me? A woman saved by grace--you see Him and not me.
Be blessed:)

Race #FMF post

                                                              Race

When I saw that the word was race, I immediately thought of comparison, not competition.
I compare myself to people in my profession and bloggers. I saw a quote recently

Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle. Jon Acuff

Was this a sign? To keep going? I still don't know, but I do know that I shouldn't compare myself to others. Life is NOT a race or competition.

So I need to stop comparing my son to other kids his age. Life is not a race.
I need to stop comparing my role as a mom to other moms. Life is not a race.
I need to stop comparing where I am spiritually with other believers. Life is not a race.
I need to appreciate where I am in. Right here. Right now and savor the beauty that is in front of me.
Be blessed:)

How I am Helping my husband

Today, I have the honor and privilege of being over at Unveiled Wife sharing how I am helping my husband. I would love it if you visited her blog and leave a comment on what you thought. Be blessed:)

Welcome

Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker at tales from a Gypsy Mama does what is called a Five Minute Friday. 5 minutes to write without abandon about one word that she gives us.It is fun! I encourage you to try it out.

Welcome


It is a welcome sight. When you have been away for any length of time, you are happy to see it.
My son's smile. My husband's friendly face. The ocean. A friend.
When you have not had it, you appreciate it more.
It is more than a sign on a door or a place to wipe your feet. It is a glimpse of what is inside. I hope to communicate that we are a happy home who love to welcome people. A safe haven. A sight and atmosphere that make people happy.
When I get to heaven, I am excited to hear welcome (in my Savior's words) and have Him introduce me to the baby I lost and never had a chance to meet.
My ears will welcome the day my son starts to talk and we can communicate.

Being refined is hard!

Have you ever asked God to help you with something only to seem like it is harder?
Let me explain.
There is a book that I read called The Power of a Praying Wife. It is a good book and I recommend it. I was expecting good advice and hoping to be a better wife after reading this book. What I didn't expect was how my marriage seemed to be coming under attack! I didn't understand it at the time and honestly, I don't know when the revelation came, but something occurred to me. Satan does not like this.
Satan wants us to fail. 1 Peter 5:8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

God is all-knowing and I believe He knows what is best for me. Even when I don't ask for help, He helps anyway:) I am not a patient person and I don't ask for patience. I don't want to be in situations where I need it, but sometimes, God has other plans  (Long line at grocery store with crying toddler, waiting for answer to prayers, dead battery, just to name a few) 1Peter 1:6-7 So be truly glad.^[b] There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ⁷ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

So what to do?
Pray! Pray harder! God is fighting for me and wants me to win.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 Never stop praying.
James 5:16  Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Think on Scripture. 
1Corinthians 10:13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

Refinement is hard. One of the hardest things for me is when I have to go to someone and ask forgiveness. 

When we fall, He is there to pick us up and start again when He offers grace.

God wants better for me. He has gifted some amazing writers to give us insights on what God has shown them.
You can pray for me, with me. We can't give up. God won't.
I would love to know what scripture gives you comfort when being refined. Please feel free to leave a comment.
Be blessed:)